As you probably know, after nearly a year of a fingers-to-the-bone style writing frenzy, in February I finally finished Notes From My Underpants and have been excitedly hopping through the post production process since then. Initially, we were talking about a release date in June and I was setting the gears in motion for a balls out marketing blitz and reading tour, a new website, a new me. Then I received word we’d probably have to delay until July and I was a little disappointed, but still okay. After a year of bleeding all over My Underpants (and not in a period way) a month seemed a pittance. More time with the balls out (marketing and otherwise). More time for gathering my loving army (and by that I mean you) for an opening day buy-out to rival that of the master (and by that I mean Scott Sigler). No prob, self. Things are good…

That was when Amazon.com dropped a stinker right in my bowl.

Turns out Amazon and Book Surge are fucking with Lightning Source, the publisher/printer for Podshow Press (and other publisher/printers, worldwide).

Check it out:

(From Writersweekly.com)

“Amazon.com purchased BookSurge, a small POD publisher/printer back in 2005. Amazon also lists and sells titles for the largest POD printer, Lightning Source, which is owned by Ingram (the large book distributor). According to their website, Lightning Source serves more than 4,300 publisher clients and has more than 400,000 titles in their system.

You’d think Amazon’s purchase of BookSurge might have made things a bit uncomfortable between the two companies. However, they continued to work together, getting books on demand to Amazon.com’s loyal customers. Things appeared to be cruising along just fine, but perhaps not anymore.

Reports have been trickling in from the POD underground that Amazon/BookSurge representatives have been approaching some Lightning Source customers, first by email introduction and then by phone (nobody at BookSurge seems to want to put anything in writing). When Lightning Source customers speak with the BookSurge representative, the reports say, they are basically told they can either have BookSurge start printing their books or the ‘buy’ button on their Amazon.com book pages will be ‘turned off.’”

Here is a link to the whole article.

…

So where does this leave Notes From My Underpants? That’s a damn good question. Podshow is still committed to publishing it but this Amazon development might delay things for weeks. Weeks, I say!

Amidst gossamer dreams of the day when I would have a collection of pages between two hearty covers to bequeath upon my loving army (you!), I clung to the summer release with my bone fingers. And now, with spring rolling in and summer on its heels, as I juice myself for show ideas and bartend into the wee hours, I feel a rimy anger a’swirlin’ in my soccerheart.

Exactly who do you think you are, Amazon.com!? You think you can fuck with Soccergirl and her loving army? Think again, dick lickers!

Here’s what YOU can do to help ME get this book to YOU before the end of time. Write a pissed off note to the slovenly puke tunes over at amazon.com and if you copy it to me at soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com I will celebrate it and you on the show (and in my pussy), amen.

The names of Amazon’s Officers and Directors are here.

Amazon’s Investor Relations Team email address:
ir@amazon.com.

Amazon’s mailing address:
Amazon.com, Inc.
P.O. Box 81226
Seattle, WA 98108-1226

Thanks, guys. I will be sure to keep you updated as this ass clincher unfolds. Eww.

Love,
Soccergirl